Long Reef pano, by Glistening Dave. How many beaches do you see with corners in them?

The course at Long Reef, in the lee of the headland, which was beautifully set in a nor'-east swell. It was a swim with personality and character. And, next season, with visibility, if the Dee Why Lagoon doesn't break out the night before the swim, as it did on this occasion. Even with that, it was a spectacular swim over the reefs, rolling in the swells, which even broke over the peloton on the outside reach. Good on you, Long Reef awgies, for having the vision and the flexibility to set such an interesting course.

Bilgola Pano, by Glistening Dave. Look at those clouds! Dave gets very excited over clouds.

The Billie course, as described by John Macleay using the oceanswims.com GPS in a prophylactic. John reported afterwards: "I had  to swim wide after the second buoy because of the crowd, then cross over through the peloton to  sight  the apex buoy properly, not easy to do with a sea of red caps  in front of me."

Glistening Dave is in the doghouse at home because he went to two ocean swims over the weekend, locked himself in his artiste's studio when he got home to doctor what he'd taken, and refused to help cook tea. Well, ocean swimming is more important than feeding kids, isn't it? What he also did is, after he returned home after Long Reef on Sat'dee, and after the westerly had come through, blown away the clouds, lifted the temp to the mid-30s, and after he'd been locked in his studio, he went out again to Billie headland to take preparatory panos for Sundee. There, he ran across Sculpcha-on-Sea brains David Handley, who was out with his prospective father in law, who is a runner. Good spot for some sculpchas up there, David. Mind you, looking at this view, perhaps you don't need them.

Look carefully, says the Glistener, and you will see the city from Billie headland over the top of the reef at Newport. Dave has a very powerful lens, which extends when he gets excited by his panos. He has lots and lots of pixels, too.

Bilgola used chip timing for the first time, a new timing operator from Newcastle. Times were recorded just fine, they assure us, but there were problems when it was decided on race day to include an elite wave.

Initially, the decision by awginisers was to allow swimmers in the elite wave to be eligible, too, for places in their age groups. This issue causes enormous controversy. As we see it, however, arguments end up as being six-of-one, half-a-dozen of the other.

Why? Because there are two essential reasons for running an elite wave: to make for better racing for the better swimmers, and to remove the faster swimmers from the age group waves so that they are not left to run into and over slower swimmers from waves ahead of them. The faster swimmers include, after all, swimmers aged into their 60s.

But Age Group wave swimmers will argue -- and they do -- that elite wave swimmers get an unfair advantage because they get "trails", they swim faster with faster swimmers around them, and conditions can change, even if minutely, from wave to wave, and swimmers in one wave should not find themselves disadvantaged by starting in lesser conditions to their direct competitors who leave in another wave.
Of course, if you have an elite wave but you then disqualify elite swimmers from age group places, then those older swimmers who are not genuine contenders to win outright will be discouraged from taking part in it, so then you lose the safety benefit of elite waves, and you lose most of the racing advantage because the elite wave ends up being just a clutch of kids.

As we say, it ends up being six-of-one, half-a-dozen of the other.

Awginisers at Billie, in good faith, responded to the entreaties of some faster swimmers on race day and, in good faith, bunged on an elite wave.

The timers hadn't been warned about an elite wave, however. Never mind, they could handle it.

At the outset, the awginisers also said that elite swimmers would still be eligible in their age groups. Fine. The important thing isn't so much which way this decision goes. The important thing is that it's clear.

But. The timing people weren't quite prepared for the ruling that elite swimmers should also be counted in their age groups. The way they managed elite waves, you see, was to take swimmers out of their age groups in the computer system, placing them in a new elite group.
Another way of handling it is to change the wave start time of elite swimmers in the computer system.

The timers felt they could handle the difference, although it may take a few minutes longer at the end to report the results.

When the end came, however, there still was confusion in producing a report that recorded swimmers overall, as well as recording them in relation to their age groups.

This caused delays at the end, and it caused some problems in determining places, and we know of several swimmers who took part in the elite wave, some of whom were awarded places in their age groups, and some of whom who weren't, but should have been.

We say: this confusion came about through late changes made in good faith in an effort to please some swimmers who asked for an elite wave. Awginisers at Billie were first timers on the day -- previous Billie Guv'na, Cap'n Graham Foran, having retired after last season and, determined not to be roped into a job this year, made no appearance at Billie on race day until after the presentations were complete, and good luck to him (Cap'n Foran has resuscitated this swim in recent years, rescuing it from certain oblivion and turning it into the very good event that it is now) -- and timers, who did an excellent job overall, hadn't done an ocean swim of this size before. There were c. 520 finishers at Billie, which was another very good result for Billie.

We say, further: this confusion affected only a very small number of faster swimmers. It's a pity that some results were awry -- good work to Mr Grizzles for realising the error in his age group and prompting Tombstone Tim to approach the awginisers for the prize that rightfully was his -- but these things happen sometimes. When we woke up on Monday, it was a lovely day. Al Qaeda had not taken over the harbour bridge. Mind you, Nathan Rees still was premier. But very few swimmers had cause to feel aggrieved.

Please don't get precious about it. Everyone has learned. And one of the things we hope they've learned is, don't listen to hustling swimmers urging you to make late changes to an event that has been, until the intervention of the hustlers, well planned.

The day at Billie still was a glorious one. It just added to our ranking of the Bilgola Ocean Swim, even after Cap'n Graham has handed it on, as our favourite boutique swim of the season.

Anyone who finds these, please return C/- Glistening Dave, Mona Vale.

Glistening Dave has a secret fantasy about being a ducky driver. Here is his tribute to those lucky enough to precede him ...

Yeeehaaa!

Whoa, Silver!

Steady on there, Diablo.

Fully sick.

Glistening Dave's world is black and white.

With lots of cloudy moments.

Jordan Stockdale and bub. Remember him with the goggles last season?

"See, this thing's called a sweep oar. We have to rub it ... like this ... to make it work good. Us boaties use these big things to make the boat got through the scary waves. It means we're very tough."

Glistening Dave saw that Blackmores were the sponsors of the Billie swim, so he did.

The green at Billie is just the ticket for an ocean swim. It compresses us all, so that we have to talk to each other.

Shivers and Shakers MacCartney would be the only characters in Stray'a who would wear jumpers at Billie on swim day. Seriously, they'd shiver and shake in Wewak in high summer.

The barbie mob at Billie. There's another pic of them below, too. We run them twice because the volunteers do such a good job for us. Not everyone is pleased with the attention, it would seem. "Get back to them sauso sangers," she shouts, from the potato peel flan she's preparing.

It was a grey sky and cool breeze that sent us off into the dark beige of the lee of Long Reef headland. Perfect for Glistening Dave's mood.

∞

We just can't believe some of the get-ups that some ocean swimmers wear into the sea. How on earth can you tell the time when you have your watch secreted on your scone within a prophylactic?

One of our favourite ever pics, and not just because it is of our Queen, Mrs Sparkle.

Good girl! Arms outstretched, head between the arms, chin down, lovely streamline position. A good torpedo.

Tombstone Tim Collins. We taught him everything he knows, other than in property valuation.

Edward Scissorhands in Fully Sicks.

Tacoma Jim.

Elite wave at Billie. Mr Grizzles brings up the rear.

Shelley Clark's friend, Prissy, from Mehico, in just her second swim in the ocean at Bilgola.

First booee.

Boofheads on the booze. Really, Glenn Muir attended Billie only because he heard the hillside behind the club was alive with water dragons, and it is.

Glorious day on the way to the Billie headland.

We watched this lass approach the far out turning booee at Billie from about 20 metres out, and followed her as she breast-stroked all that distance into the booee, around it, in a pell mell crush, and for another 20 metres out again. She rounded that booee barely a metre from it. We hope she is new to ocean swimming and will take the advice that one should not breast-stroke around booees, at least not that close to them. She is lucky she didn't get brained. And the swimmers attempting to round that booee whilst she was obstructing it -- no doubt in good faith -- were entitled to feel very pissed off indeed. If you wish to breast-stroke around a booee, please do it safely, which is 5 - 10 metres out from the booee. You are simple endangering yourself and others by swimming like this. That is not to say we don't welcome breast-strokers in ocean swims. We welcome all swimmers, of all strokes and persuasions. But all ocean swimmers should swim with commonsense and courtesy. This includes breast-strokers.

See, Fully Sick goggles can make even an irascible photographer appear enigmatic.

We hope this bloke is ok. We watched the stroke, specifically the recovery phase, approach us at Long Reef, and marvelled that it could be kept going without doing damage to the rotator cuff. Perhaps he has a particular injury or incapacitation making it so stiff and awkward. If not, please, please, get stroke correction. We are not being facetious. We are trying to be constructive.

Embarrassment 1.

Embarrassment 2.

Shelley Clark had her friend, Prissy, from Mehico, at Long Reef and at Billie. Prissy had never swum in the sea before, let alone tangled with surf. Shelley knows Prissy from the world swimming circuits.

The chief financial officer of a respected city financial institution was stung by last week's coverage of him wearing pink goggles at North Curl Curl. This is his comment on that photo, taken in public, after all.

We saw Next-Year Norris at Bilgola, for the first time this season. We asked him, "This year, Next Year?" He shouted back: "This year, not next year." Then he mulled it for a bit, and he said: "Just hope it wasn't last year."

Men shower together at Bilgola.

This character was the hardest working navvie on Billie beach. Just whilst we were watching, he carted half a dozen or more of these tables back up from the beach to the surf clubhouse, on his shoulder.

So near, yet so far. Graham Hardy lost his goggles on the way in at Bilgola. You'd think, even without them, he'd need simply to feel which way the waves were going in order to find his way back to shore.

Above: All dressed up, no place to go.     Left: Limbering.

Faces in the crowd.

Faces in the crowd 2. One of these swimmers was about to lose their goggles. Another was hoping the swim would get going -- it was delayed 15 m inutes -- for they had to leave for an audition for a job as a test pattern on the telly. Another wasn't sure he wanted to be there. Can you tell which was which?

The leaders emergy from the ocean at Bilgola. What are their names? It's right on the tip of our tongues! Note the View Visio Fully Sick goggles on the boofhead at right. You, too, can look like him with a pair of Fully Sicks. Click here to order yours ...

Meryl Streep in Africa.

The barbie mob at Billie. They always put on a good spread there, and it's a delightful setting there on the grass by the Billie surf club, after the swim, all of os thrown together in a confined space and forced to talk to each other. Lovely barbie this year, too. Jings, these coves work hard. And as oceanswims.com and Mrs Sparkle left c. 1530 AEDT, the smiler with the mo was backing up for the Nippers barbie, too. Good boy, yourself!

Sundee morning, it was the annual Manly-Curly swim, an informal peloton awginised by Julie Isbill and cobbers. This year, 15 set off from Manly, two joined from Freshwater, and 17 arrived at Curly. No need to say, it was a glorious morning. This pic from Queenscliff headland.

And the scene at South Curly pool shortly after the peloton arrove c. 0730 AEDT. See this surf washing over the pool? According to Fiji la Dobber, who swims here each morning, the sea has been known to wash little sharks into the pool. That's something guaranteed to add picquancy to one's morning swim.

The family who looked after Glistening Dave's gear when he was swimming. He was very grateful. Those poxy thongs and ragged towel are family heirlooms, almost. Thank you, you lot. Dave is very grateful. We're sorry, Dave did not tell us your names.

Doug Lucas is the guv'na of the Long Reef swim. He copped a bit of flak last year over some decisions made as race awginiser, and he gave as good as he got in his own response to Bleedback. But Doug bounced back and, this season, ran a swim with as much personality and character as any on the calendar. It was a terrific course, up nor'-east over the Long Reef reef, waves washing over the peloton at the far extremity, and stimulating, rolling swells all the way along, over a reef that was, as Mrs Sparkle said, characterised by a fluorescent, wafting weed, obscured only by the "dark beige" ocean, a consequence of Dee Why lagoon breaking out in heavy rain the night before. Poor Nanette Crawford, who thought she'd do herself a favour by parking at Dee Why and walking up the beach to Long Reef, only to find that the raging exodus of chocolate floodwaters at the lagoon forced to her to turn back, walk all the way back along the beach, hop back into her car and drive to Long Reef after all.