Fridee swim.

Brooding Sat'dee morning .. off to The Pass for a swim. And no, Glistening Dave did not take this pic, never mind the clouds. And look at those numbers! This is why we come to the Bay.

Saturdee swim. We share the ocean with learner surfies.

Saturdee swim.

Under the lip.

Towelless Tim Collins is happy at last! Son Max, who wins countless towels in the Collins household, but will let the old man use none of them, has stayed behind in Sydney, so Tim has free run of the manchester. Tim will be happier on Tuesday, May 19, at the Malt Shovel Brewery, 6pm-8pm, where he will accept 10th place in the Hahn Super Dry Fine Ocean Swimmers Series 2009. And the prize includes ... a View Sports Towel! Along with View goggles, a mesh bag, some goggle goo, and a carton of Hahn Super Dry. Don't let Max near them, Tim. You can come to the brewery, too, if you like ... just click here to request your free tickets.

Laydee Crocks all. Mrs Sparkle is walking again after her ankle operation. Coach Charm is not well with a dicky back. And Martina Eyre is keeping them company. They did the 800m Mini Swim to get the feel of it again ...

... and Mrs Sparkle couldn't wait! As soon as her toes hit the water, she just had to dive in, threading her way through other laydees' legs. Quite literally, Mrs Sparkle started swimming -- because it was easier than wading -- as soon as her body could float free of the sand, and given how flotatious her body is, that meant in 6 inches of water.

Our annual pic of Bronte laydees with bus marshall Rob Elvy. Where is Coleen O'Neill this year? You have to be quick, Coleen, if you want that yearly hug from Rob.

We are having fun. Oh yes, we are! These over-maturing boofheads had been promised that the bus around to the start at Wategoes would be full of laydees with hardly any clothes on. But there weren't enough to go around. So they had to be content with sitting next to like-minded desperadoes.

The wonderful thing about View Visio V200AMR Fully Sicks is that make wonderful sunnies, as well as goggles. And they fit so well into your eye sockets. The test of fitting goggles, of course, is whether they fit into your eyes and stay there, even momentarily, without the straps. We love them. You, too, can look like these terminal boofheads with your own pair of Fully Sicks if you click here ... These characters have seen the light.

Ready ...

... Go!

Here come the hordes. This must have been what it was like at Dunkirk, although the context is a whole lot more benign (this is not to diss those who served).

Wouldn't know he was 60+, would you!

The Gerrys wave is much more relaxed than the younger, boofier waves.

Only on the sandbar, and puffing already.

Here comes trouble ... Don Boland, NSW Central Coast surf swimmer now right into the ocean swimming scene, is a horse breaker or equestrian coach, or something like that, by trade. That stands him in good stead for ocean swimming. Easily first onto the sandbar, he has sussed that whoever gets a lead onto that bar will take a much bigger lead into the ocean beyond ...

... and out he goes through the second break, the real break. Don Boland won the über-Ageing Boofhead category in 29:05, which means he beat Brute Brewer & Co., winning the category by 2:49. Don was the first one onto the beach, never mind that he wasn't in the first wave. He was 41st overall. Not bad for an old fart. Look at that commitment to the race ...

And, trailing behind Boland, look at this commitment to the race ... Fresh from his victory in the Hahn Super Dry Fine Ocean Swimmers Series 2009, Glistening Dave, who will be crowned next week, at the Malt Shovel Brewery, as Ocean Swimmer of the Year, was able to relax more at the Byron Bay swim. Didn't take it seriously at all. It was his first swim at the Bay, and he paid homage to his and our cobber, Big Head Greg, who left us prematurely in 2008. Big Head was a Byron regular. This pic of Glistening Dave allows us to make the point, too, for many of you appear to be under a misapprehension, that the Glistener does not take every pic that appears in oceanswims.com. Some of them are taken by other people, such as the lovely Sevadevi. And still others, too. Glistening Dave, for example, takes lovely pitchers of clouds -- he is Stray'a's foremost snapper of clouds, in fact -- but he takes no pitchers at all in the water. All our water pitchers are taken by someone other than Glistening Dave. Glistening Dave is not the be all and end all of ocean swimming photography. There is room for others, for goodness sake. And to prove it, here is Dave, posing for a pitcher that is being taken, ipso facto, by someone else. Please remember that! (Bloody Dave...! ... and all his fans ...!)

Here's Denis Bendall, ready to cheat again with his pull buoee. Let us compete on the same footing, Denis, and see how much you smile!

Live long and prosper! Indeed, Mr Spock. At the first buouee off Wategoes, Sue "Killer" Kearney was 30 metres ahead of the next placed swimmer in her age group, which we won't divulge to you because we don't do that to laydees. But Suh-Keenee, as she also is known, is such a generous soul that she still bothered to slow up to give us her special Vulcan salute, which pays homage to Star Trek: "Live long and prosper, Mr Spock!" Suh-Keenee certainly prospers. Over the preceding few days, at the National Masters Swimming Champs on Brisbane, she won the Laydees 400m Freestyle in 5:12.22, over 15 seconds quicker than 2nd place, and the 800m Free in 10:43.32, over 24 seconds quicker than 2nd. And she still had time to stop and wave at us scum on the bottom ... Good girl, yourself, Suh-Keenee!

Meleé.

Reach. but bend the elbow!

Now, if Glistening Dave turned in a pic like this, with a blob in the middle of the lens, he, and all his accolytes, all of you lot, would call it art. But from us, it's a stuff-up. Life's not fair.

Monster surfaces at The Pass. Mollymook's Bettsy is no-one's patsy.

Suspended. Hyper-flex! That's the kind of flex that only girls can get.

Peloton.

Not everyone can do he Vulcan salute, you know. This isn't so much, "Live long and prosper!". More like, "Up yours!"

Spotlight.

Armada.

Passing The Pass.

Supple, but lift that bum, and bend the elbow!

Splayed digits.

Life on the reef.

More life on the reef.

Shoulder drop; over-rotate; bend that elbow!

Got the streamline.

Lost the streamline. Maybe surprised by a sea monster beneath the surface ...

Getting lip.

Monday morning swim. Where else would you rather be?

Monday morning swim. Goodby to all that ...

Monday morning swim. Still plenty of mugs with whom to create culcha.

Farewell to the Bay, 2009 ...